Dan's Top 10

Top 10 ways to know you are an over indulgent parent

10. Your kids just assume you'll provide for them
 9.  You rent a limo for an 8th grade dance
 8.  You rent a hotel room for after prom activities for your kid
 7.  You don't consider yourself to be a parent but a friend to your child
 6.  You let your kids decide when their hair should be cut
 5.  You don't think your kids should have to work until they are an adult
 4.  Your kids get to choose rather than be told what they will do
 3.  An allowance is given without any services rendered
 2.  Price doesn't matter as long as it's for the kids
 1.  Instead of worshiping God, you worship your kids as Gods

Top 10 New Media Schools

10. The Dan Rather School for the Make Believe
 9.  The Katie Couric Beauty School for the non-talented
 8.  The Chris Mathews School for auctioneering & loud voice development
 7.  The Al Gore, "I invented the Internet" Computer School
 6.  Cause Journalism Institute "The facts don't matter if the cause is good"
 5.  Green Journalism Dept. at Bowling Green "No newsprint for newspapers"
 4.  Watergate Memorial School for the Sensational
 3.  Liberty University School for Right Wing Political Bloggers
 2.  Acorn College for New Math
 1.  New York Times School of Socialism

Top 10 Excuses teachers give for having sex with their students

10. Those kids are such hotties!
9.  It's more fun than grading papers
8.  I'm trying to enhance their educational experience
7.  What better way to get the attention of my spouse
6.  The media attention is fantastic
5.  I don't get paid enough, I need the fringe benefits
4.  Too much time off during the school year
3.  The teacher's union always wants us to become involved
2.  The union always says we can't be fired
1.  We take the phrase "teacher's pet" very seriously

Top 10 Reasons why it's great to be a teacher.

10. One year's pay for seven and a half months of work
9. Summer's off plus Christmas and Spring break.
8. You get to push your own propaganda.
7. Talking all day and correcting a few papers, how hard can that be?
6. You get to give yourself a raise by taking a college class or two.
5. You don't even need to take a college class to get a raise, more experience will do
4. For extra cash you can coach a sport
3. Done by 3PM.
2. You don't have to be good at teaching, the union will protect you
1. If all else fails, you can always have sex with your students.